Best Man Speech Opening Lines

Best Man Speech Opening Lines
You Want People Laughing WITH You Not AT You

Many people when searching out best man speech opening lines are looking for some jokes or ‘zingers‘.  Unfortunately, this is actually a terrible idea for an opening line.

In this article we will discuss the correct way you should open your speech and why.

But First – Opening Lines Not To Use

Stop Hand
Stop Now!

If you have been searching online and have decided that one of the following zingers is how you are going to start your speech, stop right now.

Cheesy, used and awful ‘dad jokes‘ like the ones below are an absolutely terrible way to start your speech.

  • We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom move uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That’s right. I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.
  • Today, WEDDING DATE, is a special day in history. Just as BRIDE and GROOM are embarking on their journey together, so in 1492, did Christopher Columbus and his crew embark upon their own voyage of discovery. Let’s hope that BRIDE and GROOM enjoy as much excitement and good fortune as Columbus’s men – only without picking up syphilis along the way.
  • If I could just say a few words… I’d be a better public speaker! (You then sit down).
  • Good afternoon ladies and gentleman. If there is anybody here who is feeling worried, nervous or apprehensive, your either me (because I am) or you just married GROOM.
  • I don’t believe in roasting the GROOM on his special day. Therefore this speech won’t contain anything controversial or embarrassing about GROOM. Instead I’ll refer only to the pleasant, loving side of his character. Thank you and goodnight. (You also then sit down)
  • I read somewhere that a best man speech shouldn’t take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen – I give you BRIDE and GROOM. (Another one where you then sit down).
  • So where do I start with GROOM? Well for starters he’s handsome, witty, intelligent, he’s char – char – char… Sorry GROOM, I’m having trouble reading your handwriting, you can tell me the rest later.

All of these are terrible, terrible openings that come across as incredibly cheesy and have been done dozens of times over the years.

I mean a syphilis joke?  Surely I don’t even have to tell you how bad an idea that is!

You can do better.

Ok So You Covered What NOT To Say – What SHOULD I Say?

I’m going to tell you what no other best man speech site or service out there will admit to: the opening line of your best man speech is not the time for a joke. This is one of the 3 secrets to a top best man speech that we cover in our free best man speech guidebook.

The last thing you want to do is start your speech off with a terrible joke that people hate.  Talk about getting off on the wrong foot.

So what you should do is NOT tell a joke.  Save them for the middle section of your speech (see our best man speech template for more information on this), where you can push it a little more.

So, keep your opening lines simple and like this:

  • Good evening ladies and gentlemen! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is BEST MAN and, having known GROOM for X years, I am honoured to be standing up here as best man.

Only now – after you have introduced yourself to the audience could you crack a one liner.

Why Does It Have To Be In This Order?

First of all, many people at the wedding won’t know who you are.  So a stranger standing up and telling them an awful joke that they hate isn’t really a great introduction.

Only now that you have introduced yourself and given your credentials – that is that you have known the groom for many years – have you earned the right to take a small pop at the groom with a one liner.

Just don’t make it any of the one liners that I included above.

Try to come up with something original and unique.  Not something you found on Google.  Here is a good rule for you:

If you found a one liner on Google, then the chances are that every other best man out there found the same line and it has been used dozens of times in many speeches – meaning it will come across as a bad, cheesy ‘dad joke’.

If you can’t think of anything, we’d be happy to help you.   Leave a comment below with some basic information about the groom and I will write a suggestion for you.

For example “groom likes XYZ team, hates XYZ, been engaged for way too long, bride dislikes that he does XYZ”.

Free Help With Your Opening Lines

As I mentioned, if you leave a comment like that below and I’d be happy to help come up with a best man speech one liner for you – for free!